Getting Into The Groove

I came across this meme by Kate On Thin Ice via Mish Mash Mum.

“Have you ever felt like “you” got lost in the midst of juggling motherhood and other responsibilities? When was the last time you did something just for yourself? When was the last time you took time out for a hobby or interest that is yours alone? When was the last time you indulged in a guilty pleasure? When was the last time you tried something new? Yes, you are a Mum but surely you are more than that but where has that person disappeared to?”

I deliberated whether or not to take part over the week, because it’s not all totally true for me. I do find time to do things for myself. I do my crafts and think about writing (even though I rarely get pen to paper). I finally decided to do it because while it might not 100% describe me, there is definitely a lack of groove going on over here, and there is definitely a desire to find one.
I’m not sure where ‘me’ got lost. Perhaps I’ve never really found her. I (by my own choice) had my children young, so I have spent my entire adult life as a Mum. I’m glad of that and I certainly wouldn’t wish it any other way (what on earth to people without children do with their time?), but there wasn’t really any ‘me’ before that for me to regain, if that makes any sense at all. So perhaps this will be my journey to finding that.

I have always had this idea, which I think a lot of women do, of being some sort of super-wife and super-mum. I fall so far short of that mark it’s laughable. Most of the time I am over-tired, frazzled and irritated at myself for being so. My house is messy, I have a continually huge stack of laundry to do, and I am late, without fail, for everything.

So this is what I want to do:

  1. Be more sociable. I am not a sociable person. I am shy, and I avoid meeting new people. I will chat, if awkwardly, to somebody if they start talking to me, but I can’t strike up a conversation. I have very few friends and I see them rarely, and sometimes I feel lonely and wish I had some more people close to me that I could have a natter with now and then. I need to stop putting it off and start going to some baby and toddler groups to make parent friends.
  2. Achieve more. I get down because I don’t get done the things I want to. I have the best intentions but I just don’t get around to doing things, and then I feel really disheartened. I need to start writing a (realistic!) list of the things I want to do in the day and tick them off. I’m one of those people who’s a real sucker for ticking things off. I love looking back and seeing all the things I’ve done, and that in turn motivates me to get more done.
  3. Get back to study. I was studying towards a degree but ended up giving up on it when I was suffering with depression. I’m much better now and would love to get back to studying so that I can eventually become a teacher.
  4. Read and write. Once upon a time I used to read every day. Once upon a time I used to write. I wrote a novel. It is full of plot holes and doesn’t make sense because I wrote it in one month for NaNoWriMo and I still haven’t edited it, but I do love it. I love being a writer. I want to stop thinking about writing and actually do it. So I need to edit this novel and get it in a presentable state to be read. And then I need to write another one.
I had better get going with it all, hadn’t I?

11 thoughts on “Getting Into The Groove”

  1. Thanks for linking up. What I like is that of all the people contributing, they are all different yet I can empathise with something about each one. I need to do your reading and writing bit. I have done the reading one even if it is one chapter at a time and I have a little plan for making sure I write which I will share very soon on my blog. I want to study too but cos I have a degree it would cost a fortune but might look into how to do something to learn something new. I really get you on the being sociable as I am extremely shy. It took me 6 years before I went to any mum and child events at all and I did get friends out of it so give it a try. And yes, I do realise just how tough it is to get through that door. I am better now but the keeping up with things has challenged me for years too. After all, some jobs just don't enhance mood at all do they? Your post made me realise that some bloggers may feel excluded or like they don't fit this meme so I will give some thought to that as really it is just about mums doing something to have a great life so most fit into that I would think.
    Hope you stick with us at #groovingmums as I would love to know how your journey continues.

  2. Love the honesty!! You can do it. I know people put a lot of pressure on mums to do everything and be able to do everything, but we need to cut ourselves some slack sometimes. I, myself still have things I want to do and I will do them. Sometimes my house isnt always so clean as I would like it to be, but I do my best and that is all anyone can ever do!! I hope you succeed in these things and look forward to the progress over time!! Have a great weekend xx

  3. @kateonthinice

    Thanks for coming up with the meme :) I'm sure it will help us all. I've wanted to change some things in my life for a long time, but doing it alongside other ladies really makes it feel more manageable.

    Have you thought about learning something with your local Adult Education if formal study would be too costly? I've seen some great looking courses around here. I wanted to learn sign language, but transport is my problem as I don't drive.

    I'm going to make myself a cuppa now the kids are in bed and get reading some of the other links from the meme :)

  4. Some of the things you've written here really resonated with me. Especially the bit about falling short of the mark to be super-mum/ superwife. It's tough, but I'm starting to think that maybe those feelings just come with those roles.
    I think you write really well, and it's great that you have a novel already written. OK, you may need to edit it, but you've achieved so much by even getting a first draft done, when you do go back and revisit I am sure there will be some bits you're really proud of.

  5. A great post. I write to-do-lists / goals all the time and then feel miserable when it takes me too long to get things done or I can't complete the task, so it's great that you are going to stick to a realistic to do list. I'll need to do the same. Good luck with the writing.

  6. I’m also on the mission towards getting things done and am trying to follow a system from a book called ‘Getting things Done’ . It is semi successful at the moment but I’m still setting it up. Hmm maybe that should be my inspiration for the next getting the groove back post.

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