I have always had this idea, which I think a lot of women do, of being some sort of super-wife and super-mum. I fall so far short of that mark it’s laughable. Most of the time I am over-tired, frazzled and irritated at myself for being so. My house is messy, I have a continually huge stack of laundry to do, and I am late, without fail, for everything.
So this is what I want to do:
- Be more sociable. I am not a sociable person. I am shy, and I avoid meeting new people. I will chat, if awkwardly, to somebody if they start talking to me, but I can’t strike up a conversation. I have very few friends and I see them rarely, and sometimes I feel lonely and wish I had some more people close to me that I could have a natter with now and then. I need to stop putting it off and start going to some baby and toddler groups to make parent friends.
- Achieve more. I get down because I don’t get done the things I want to. I have the best intentions but I just don’t get around to doing things, and then I feel really disheartened. I need to start writing a (realistic!) list of the things I want to do in the day and tick them off. I’m one of those people who’s a real sucker for ticking things off. I love looking back and seeing all the things I’ve done, and that in turn motivates me to get more done.
- Get back to study. I was studying towards a degree but ended up giving up on it when I was suffering with depression. I’m much better now and would love to get back to studying so that I can eventually become a teacher.
- Read and write. Once upon a time I used to read every day. Once upon a time I used to write. I wrote a novel. It is full of plot holes and doesn’t make sense because I wrote it in one month for NaNoWriMo and I still haven’t edited it, but I do love it. I love being a writer. I want to stop thinking about writing and actually do it. So I need to edit this novel and get it in a presentable state to be read. And then I need to write another one.