As the title suggests, it’s been a bit of an up-and-down week.
On Saturday, I had a terrible day. It was one of those days where everything that can possibly go wrong, does. It really got to me, there were tears and a pretty naff day was had by all. On the bright side, as a result of my utterly horrendous day, I have since been making a special effort in everything I do and things have been going better. I’ve felt like a competent mother, I have been far less stressed, my children have been well-behaved and we have all been happy. On Sunday I made play-dough and the kids loved it (my carpet didn’t, but it’s sort of a lost cause anyway) and I had a talk with OH, who is going to help me stick to the things I want to do rather than chickening out. So things were looking up.
Here’s an update on my targets this week:
- Be more sociable. I’ve done well this week. I have chatted with strangers on the bus and in the supermarket and on Monday I called up my local children’s centre about joining their next Baby Yoga course. I didn’t go to stay and play yesterday, but not because I chickened out this time. I wanted to go, but had other things I really had to do.
- Achieve more. Okay, again I’ve been really pants with this. I don’t know where my time goes! I suppose I have been a little more productive this week than last, so maybe I just need to take baby steps with this. Little progress is a lot better than none!
- Get back to study. Still waiting for my OU registration stuff to come through the post. It seems like a long time that I’ve waited, but I suppose it’s not. Hopefully it will be here soon. This week I’m also going to email about going to conventional university and see what I need to do for that.
- Read and write. I haven’t done much reading or writing, unless you count reading blogs and shamelessly advertising NaNoWriMo (there I go again!). I’m not too disappointed by this though, because while I haven’t actually put pen to paper (or fingers to keys or whatever), I can feel that writerly mindset coming back. I’m starting to feel like a novelist again. I’ve reconnected with my characters, their scenes have resumed playing out in my head, and I’m looking at people and places with my writer’s eyes, absorbing them all for later use in my work. And I feel fantastic about that!
So there has been a lot of positivity this week, until today. Today has been another day where I’ve felt down and really let things get to me. I am quite proud of myself for trying to keep a positive mindset throughout it all. It didn’t really work, but I did try which is better than wallowing in self-pity. I am quite prone to feeling, as soon as I have a down-day, that all the positive that I have done before has been some sort of magical stroke of luck and I am now returning to my usual, inadequate self. I’m trying to challenge that, telling myself it’s a blip, that I can keep going and grab that positivity right back again. Tomorrow is a new day. I have to hold onto that thought.
This week Kate asked us to choose some new underwear, which after looking at my pants drawer, I realised was a very good idea. I’m going to put this challenge on hold though, because my pants are currently wearable and my shoes are not. I spent the entire summer looking for some summer shoes that fit my awkward feet. I had no luck whatsoever, and now even my trusty Dunlop sneakers are crumbling at the heels. So this week I’ll be treating myself to some new sneakers instead.
We were also asked to have a look at any volunteering opportunities that might interest us. I found one that sounds wonderful and is very close to where I live, so I’ve decided that once I’ve spent a bit more time working on my confidence and other targets, I’ll pop across the road and ask about it.
So that’s me for this week, time to get back to grooving.
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